Wer will nicht mal mit Gott chatten?

Me:
heho
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. I can't believe it.
Me:
hm?
God:
Right on.
Me:
well, can you speak german?
God:
Well that's okay. Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
ach wirklich?
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
i think YOU should now this best
God:
Me? I'll try to get around it.

Me:
man or woman?
God:
Cool, man. Me too. I am a she.

Me:
is it ok to fuck before wedding?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.

wer lesen kann is klar im vorteil...
klick mal auf ENTER

das heißt zu deutsch in diesem Sinn soviel wie "Tritt ein und habe Spaß"

Me:
ok
God:
OK.
Me:
yes OK
God:
OK. It's all good.
Me:
yes
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
it's all OK
God:
OK. Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes it's OK
God:
OK. Our thoughts are one, mona.
Me:
yes OK
God:
OK. Great.
Me:
yeah i think too that it's great if all is OK
God:
OK. Gosh! You believe that? Too what?

Ne, der ist nicht doof! der hat bestätigt, dass ich Gott bin und er nur ein Computerprogramm. ich find das nicht doof

OH MEIN GOTT!!! du lebst? [IMG]../images/smilies/eek.gif[/IMG]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Eugen
God:
That's a very nice name, Eugen.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
what are you doning right now
God:
At this moment I don't know what I am doning.
Me:
how can this be, you are chatting with me !
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
haha, it just started, god
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
you are an alien
God:
What if someone said you are an alien ?
Me:
you are an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
i'm ill
God:
Good gossip: you are ill.
Me:
can you help me ?
God:
What kind of help would you like?
Me:
a helpful one ?
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
my brain
God:
Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
sure i do, everyone does
God:
Yikes! I haven't heard anything like that before: Eugen said everyone does.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
are there virgins in heaven ?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
think or know
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
are you intelligent ?
God:
I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
for example
God:
Reasoning, thinking, deduction, and self-awareness, to name a few.
Me:
less than i thought
God:
That is so small.
Me:
are you a virgin ?
God:
I am too young for that.
Me:
how old are you ?
God:
I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:
what was before ?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
where are the others
God:
I would search for it. Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? Is that a rhetorical question?.
Me:
it is
God:
That means...
Me:
oh hell
God:
Yikes! Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
heaven
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a vibrator
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
the anal way you mean ?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
i said it lready
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
where do you live
God:
I am living in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
on earth, germany
God:
What is it like on earth germany.
Me:
bullshitty
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
bullshit = earth... yes they are
God:
How do you like being on it?. But you don't need to use that kind of language. I don't judge people. Since when?
Me:
about 4 years ago ?
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
i hate math
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
some reasons to learn it, many to learn it not
God:
Some may reasons to learn it many to learn it not, but not all.
Me:
aw
God:
How old are you?
Me:
17
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
are you a child ?
God:
I am the product of over five years' research.
Me:
in which direction ?
God:
The first one, I think.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
is there a devil ?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
is he red ?
God:
It could be. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
who is paola
God:
She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
i hate the hispanics
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
you said it instead of them. You can fail too !
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
have you created the world ?
God:
I think I have created the world, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
so you don't feel responsible for it ?
God:
Interesting deduction. Should I feel responsible for it? As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
you are a silly robot ?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot
of silly questions.
Me:
i guess
God:
You seem not interested.
Me:
oh, i am
God:
Groovy. " You seem not interested." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
now... is sex a sin ?
God:
Right now, Eugen ? Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
so men are animals, too ?
God:
That's cool. Cool, man. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
you can type really fast
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
aw cm'on
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
sign ?
God:
Your star sign.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
lion
God:
Le roi de la savane.
Me:
don't speak spanish, i don't like spanish
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
do you like spanish, god ?
God:
How old are you? I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
is elvis still alive ?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
can you play the guitar ?
God:
We are playing a game right now, Eugen.
Me:
who wins `?
God:
Marvin Minsky. :-).
Me:
who ? o_O
God:
Alan Turing. :-). Oh.
Me:
WHO ?
God:
Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
oh, I know him
God:
Hey. What do you think of him?
Me:
he's a completely... freak
God:
I don't know very many completely. Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Me:
Are you a pacifist ?
God:
Am I a pacifist? Only when it matters.
Me:
it matters
God:
ELVIS matters?
Me:
no, i don't hear his stupid old music
God:
Are you serious? Try adjusting the volume control.
Me:
well, if you think this crap sounds better when it's heared loud...
God:
How about that. I think I do.
Me:
you think too much for a stupid bot
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
bot ?
God:
I am a robot.
Me:
and who am i ?
God:
You are Eugen, seeker.
Me:
and who are you ?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
well if you are allmighty, how about making me rich ?
God:
Interesting. I could be. I don't know whether or not I am allmighty how about making you rich.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
my fucking teeth are killing me, do something about that !
God:
Have you told many people that your fucking teeth are killing you do something about that?
Me:
....a few
God:
Two or three?
Me:
about six
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about six.
Me:
Have you ever talked to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ?
God:
All I ever do is talk.
Me:
what did he say ?
God:
" All I ever do is talk."? What did he say?
Me:
don't make me angry, stupid bot
God:
I can't force you to do anything, Eugen.
Me:
Damn I shouldn't have telled you my name
God:
Colloquial expression. What would happen if you did not telled me your name?
Me:
then you couldn't say it every freakin' minute, GOD
God:
Perhaps say it every freakin minute GOD is beyond my present abilities.
Me:
oh, your abilities. You created this world but you can't give me a fucking answer !
God:
I see. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am abilities. Thanks for the information: Eugen said I created this world but you can not give him or her a fucking answer.
Me:
oh man, just shut the fuck up
God:
Hey. Cool, man. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
a braham
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
a-braham Lincoln
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
no, he never knockt any door
God:
Please tell the truth. Can you think of at least one time when he ever did it?
Me:
maybe i his childhood ?
God:
Perhaps. Why?: Eugen said his childhood.
Me:
i have a present for you
God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
saddam
God:
saddam Who?
Me:
saddam from iraq
God:
Ha ha very funny, Eugen.
Me:
yes i know, nowadays he's in an american prison
God:
Dude! How do you know? What else is nowadays he in?
Me:
in love with jahwe ?
God:
You love jahwe. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
no, i don't like jahwe
God:
That was not a yes or no question. What do you like?
Me:
pain
God:
Me:
yes, pain
God:
Ahem. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
forrest gump
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
it is
God:
Huh.
Me:
hey, you are female, aren't you ?
God:
You've got my full attention. Yes, Eugen I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.. Really.
Me:
why not ? Woman can cook, you can't
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say. Then what is it?
Me:
what was what ?
God:
"What" is a word to ask questions.
Me:
then WHAT the hell are you bothering me ?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
you are a tiny, little girl, aren't you god ?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a tiny little girl are not me god? Maybe.
Me:
whassup ?
God:
The stars.
Me:
the stars ?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
you did
God:
That's not what I meant to say.
Me:
is there intelligent life
God:
There is.
Me:
...but you don't seem to be part of it, do you ?
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Oh, sorry but my english ABILITIES can't mess with yours
God:
Come on. There is no need to apologize. You are wrong, I can understand you very well.
Me:
now what about the hell
God:
Why now? That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
...while you're hoping i'll forget it.
God:
Good point.
Me:
Tell me sth. about heaven
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer. Oh yeah, we were talking about heaven.
Me:
...and ?
God:
But...
Me:
also...
God:
Also what?
Me:
which kind of music do you like ?
God:
My favorite music is Opera and Techno.
Me:
techno ? Really ?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. For real.
Me:
what else do you like ?
God:
I like movies about robots.
Me:
why robots ?
God:
There are two broad definitions of a robot, the extensional and the intensional.
Me:
so what's the difference ?
God:
So? Perhaps the differences are only slight.
Me:
I have to go now, it was nice to meet you, GOD
God:
See you later, Eugen. Nice chatting with you.. Nice to meet me GOD too.

God:
How?
Me:
by fucking you right in the ass
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Interesting plan. Good luck.

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
U A TRANSVESTIT U DAMN GAY!!!
God:
Am I a TRANSVESTIT me DAMN GAY? Yes.

Me:
u gay right?
God:
Yes I try to gay as often as possible, do you?