28.12.2004, 16:27
# 1  Metalgenres leicht erklärt....
"This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights:
01) POWER METAL:
the protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest
02) TRASH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, fights the dragon,
saves the princess and f**ks her......... easy, isn't it?
03) HEAVY METAL:
the protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon,
drinks a few beers and f**ks the princess
04) FOLK METAL:
the protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments,
the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing)...then all leave....without the princess
05) VIKING METAL:
the protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe,
skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving
06) DEATH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon,
f**ks the princess and kills her, then leaves
07) BLACK METAL:
the protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle.....
then sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....
then he impales the princess next to the dragon
08) GORE METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle,
f**ks the princess and kills her....then he f**ks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts.....
then he f**ks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it for the last time
09) DOOM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him,
then he gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert...
that's the end of the sad story
10) PROGRESIVE METAL:
the protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes....the dragon kills himself out of boredom.....
the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom,
plays another solo with all the technics and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory...
the princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist
11) GLAM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearence and let him enter.....
he steals the princess make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color"
12) NU METAL:
The protagonist arrives, an gets disturbed by the Dragons appearance.
He fumbles and rolls around on the ground and whispers some nursery rhymes.
the dragon feels grief but suddenly get killed by another protagonist that hat a fucked up day.
the first one enters the princess' room and bitchslpas her,
because she was one of the ******* cunts that made his life miserable at highschool.
then he shouts so often "****, ******* whore" until she begs for mercy.
then the two protagonists drink jack-Coke, eat pizza and f*ck all the maidens in the castle.
13) EPIC SYMPHONIC HOLLYWOOD METAL:
The protagonist arrives from the enchanted lands in a rain of a thousand flames.
Like a holy thunderforce he attaks the dragon, who puts up an epic fight.
But even the power of the dragonflame cannot harm the hero, and in the end he guts the beast with his emerald sword.
He brings the princess home to tell the legendary tale of his victory forever,
before leaving to **** his male comrades back home in the enchanted lands...
---
Wenn man die einzelnden Genres bissle kennt und dazu ein paar Bands identifizieren kann, ist das sehr witzig und quasi passend beschrieben. :} | 
Ähnliche Themen, die dich vielleicht interessieren 
